Do you want to spring 🐇 into self-care buuuuutttt . . .

But, well … ya’ know, it’s just not happening? You're not alone.

I can group 20 years of clients into 2 self-care camps, those who want to do self-care and those who are showing up and doing it.

There’s no judgment for which category you fall into right now. I too find myself bouncing between both sides of the coin. But in case you didn’t know why you're in the camp you're in, here’s the thing that changes your wanting to doing: your level of discomfort.

When life is really intense and you’re maxed out, you will likely do self-care: get the treatment, go work out or do the meditation. Last year when remote learning went from an annoying mess to a disastrous, full fledged $#!* show, I hit a breaking point and as a result, got really good about my 5-minute morning Qigong practice. AND the Qigong made a noticeable difference in how I was able to self-regulate and cope throughout the day, I kept at it. (I’ll talk more about this important piece later in the month.)

But when the stress is less severe or it is just an ongoing nuisance, you’ll likely manage stress with coping mechanisms such as procrastination, "I don't have time for self-care", intellectualizing by talking about or analyzing it or even organizing your stressors on 800 post-its or to do lists. Let’s be honest, sometimes coping might even be a cocktail or an edible. Sound familiar?

Next week, I’ll send you two different ways you can move forward from managing your stress and all that self-care "shoulding" into feeling good about the self-care you've done.

Talk again soon,

Aimee

PS - In the meantime, I invite you to consider how much of your energy you're using to "manage your stress" with coping mechanisms versus processing and dissipating it.

The One Thing I Can't Live Without

Years ago while soaking up the sun beach-side, a women came up to my 1 year old looking for a cute baby giggle and smile. Unfortunately, she was greeted with my daughter’s classic “leave me alone” side-eye. As I apologized for the post-nap baby grumpies, she said, “Oh, no problem. I’m a NICU nurse, I get it all the time. She’s just hatching. I don’t blame her.”

Since that moment, we gained the perfect name for those slow wake-up moments. My household has nothing but respect for “hatching”.  Even though I’m a morning person, I certainly don’t pop out of bed ready for the day. I need to hatch and I have THE BEST hatching routine that I couldn’t live without. 

Courtesy of my Qigong teacher and friend, Emmett, I have an amazing and quick routine that gets my mind and body going in the morning. My favorite aspect of this hatching routine is the manifesting. It effortlessly integrates my intentions into my current mindset, making it easier to keep on track all day. My body feels better too!

So, yes, I’m absolutely going to share this great little session thanks to Emmett and my NEW Regain Your Rhythm app. The app will be free until April so jump in now and check it out. Over the next month and a half, you’ll get:

• access to Emmett’s awesome hatching routine,

• a 5 minute calm clarity reset so you can triage your tension during the day,

• the 7 day settling challenge to, amongst other things, improve your sleep quality,

• direct access to yours truly for real self-care support when you feel stuck,

• and more!

Are you ready for self-care to get a whole lot easier?

First, register here and click “Try Free” in the Regain Your Rhythm box. Then you’ll get an email to download the easy access app for iOS or Android. With this app, notifications won’t get lost in your email and you’ll enjoy inspired daily connections, where you don’t accidentally get lost in a sea of social media for longer than you planned.

You’ll find Emmett’s video with this article in the featured section.

I look forward to seeing you in our mighty network so you can regain your rhythm.

Aimee

How to feel better on every level

Last week, we talked about how your stress wants to get out of your body but that isn't always easy. Despite your best efforts, sometimes it can feel like there's a tension "residue" that you can't quite put your finger on and don't know how to fix. Enter Craniosacral Therapy because that is it's specialty! Craniosacral Therapy treats the elusive, unseen layers. Take this moment to connect inward, as you find out how some Observatory students describe this hard-to-describe process:

"I feel like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz - I keep losing my straw from daily physical and emotional struggles. But Craniosacral self-care enables me to replenish what is lost and to retain more and more each time. I feel less stressed everyday just knowing I this self-care will always come to my rescue." - Sue Y.

"When I had an in person CST treatment with Aimee to help with TMJ issues, I came out with less jaw pain and feeling 20 pounds lighter on an emotional level. She explained the TMJ will always be there or come back if I don't deal with how my body is holding the tension patterns. So I signed up for The Observatory - my first time ever trying meditation. That is when I started to feel like me again! Healing the TMJ became a gateway into layers of relief I didn’t know I needed. I’ve become a different person – a much better version of myself. The shift in my mindset has been life changing for not only me but my family too. They noticed the change in me within a couple months. I am happier, kinder, fun again and it was all due to the self-healing classes and the work I was putting in between classes." - Jo R.

"Your comments in class are often so timely and validating! While I don't always keep up with every aspect of the awareness exercises, just having you acknowledge one thing I’ve been feeling always makes a huge difference in my stress. It helps me to “unlock” where I’m stuck. Thank you for holding the space for me to process." - Deb T.

"Practicing Craniosacral self-healing has helped me be a calmer person. When I start to feel pain/stress in my neck/back I’m more aware that it’s time to mediate - or at least take some time for myself. It’s easier to not get as frustrated over things and am much better at forgiving myself for not “getting everything done” on a daily basis. A big part of that is taking the time in these classes to see the whole picture, learning to make a more reasonable To Do lists and to prioritize things to help achieve long term goals." - Eileen S.

If this sounds like something that could transform your everyday stress too, then you need to sign up for the free 7 Day Beginner's Challenge happening in March - in the new app!

For good health and happiness,

Aimee

What your stress and tension really wants for Valentine’s Day

To understand what your stress and tension really wants, we must first be honest about what your stress and tension really is.

Stress is your reaction to life - unreacted. Stress is your reply to what happens around you but is stuck within. Your physical tension, mental chatter and emotional irritability are the compartmentalized responses to the day that have not been allowed out. That said, I probably don’t need to tell you what they really want for Valentine’s Day…to get out - completely!

Now, sometimes you can discharge stress with a good workout, venting to a friend or detaching with screen time. However, while these can help you cope with the superficial intensity, it doesn’t always heal the more subtle charges in your mind-body (nervous) system. And as a sensitive, intuitive, mindful person, you know this superficial relief isn’t usually enough. You know you need to be able to fully let go – physically, mentally, emotionally, consciously and unconsciously. More importantly, your stress and tension wants that too! It wants to be released from all your layers for a relief you can feel on every level.

Curious, what that feels like? Next week, you’ll hear about it from a few folks.

For your health and happiness,

Aimee

PS – I am so very excited to be launching an app where you can easily access all this Craniosacral self-healing goodness and the like-minded community in one easy (non-social media) spot. Stay tuned for the exact timing as well as the free 7 Day Beginners Challenge happening, in the app, in March.

How to make the most of the shortest month

While playing Uno with the kids after dinner one night, I was complaining about the algae growth in my fish tank to my very proficient saltwater tank friend and guest for the night, Britta. “Oh, snails are great for that!” she said. “They’ll keep it clean for you.” So a few days later my daughter, Kat, and I brought home Jet, the snail.

It’s been fun to play “I spy” every day to see where Jet has moved to, especially since he looks just like most of the rocks in the tank. But, is it wrong to be frustrated at how slowly my new snail is cleaning the tank? I mean, it’s a snail not a Mr. Clean commercial. What did I expect would happen?

As I sit in my meditation spot that overlooks the fish tank, I’m laughing at the irony of my snail expectations. I’m also laughing because my algae fix is the same as my recommendation to you for getting the most out of the shortest month: get more snails.

February is the month of hibernation or as we call it in the Observatory, Nourish To Flourish. This is the time of year to hunker down and embrace restorative dormancy. (And no, I’m not saying you should stop doing cardio for 4 weeks.) I am saying you should seize the season of recuperation by finding a lot of slow and steady algae eaters. By that I mean, find a lot of small and steady self-healing moments. This will help to clear the clutter of stimuli littering your nervous system so you can get the most out of this short month.

Right now, I want you to set an alarm on your phone or in your scheduler do an awareness exercise once a week. Go ahead, set the alarms. I’ll wait…

OK - In that 20, 60 or 120 second moment, simply stop what you’re doing and bring your awareness to a part of your body and breathe. With your eyes closed or open, I want you to really visualize and observe that part of you with curiosity.

If you are the go big or go home type, you can always add another 20 second breathing appointment to your scheduler. But please, ONLY AFTER you’ve done the first. You can even assign the body part in advance so you don’t have to think too much about it when the alarm goes off. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• You could pick from the 5 primary organs according to Chinese Medicine: Heart, Kidneys, Liver, Lungs and Spleen.

• If you’re a weightlifter you could pick the muscle groups that you focused on the last time you worked out.

• If you have a sedentary desk job, you could visualize the ways in which the body has movement and flow: blood pumped by the heart, cerebrospinal fluid nourishing the brain and spinal cord or the electrical currents that flow from sensory systems to the brain and spinal cord and then back out to the connective tissue with the messaging of how to react.

While the real anatomical accuracy doesn’t matter, it can be helpful to google a simple diagram to get your awareness awareness juices flowing. But ultimately, just be curious and observe your imagination. Next week, we’ll discuss how awareness of our actual body ignites unconscious healing processes.

Here to help you activate the healing within,

Aimee

PS – If you check out Britta’s amazing 375 gallons of saltwater tanks, they’re on display at GMS Heating and Cooling in Morton Grove. You can pop in, they don’t mind. She just got a seahorse!

Not keeping up with self-care? Here’s one to get you back on the horse.

Can I be frank with you? Most meditations bore me. They are often vague or open ended and typically don’t have anything to do with what is ailing me. When my brain doesn’t see something as relevant, I have a REALLY hard time getting myself to do it, much less do it well.

Then I found Craniosacral Therapy (CST) awareness exercises and that all changed. They're practical. They're relevant. They are rooted in the science of embryology. This science harnesses the same DNA genius that created you from a few cells in the beginning so you can:

1. restore your original health,

2. regain your nervous system’s rhythm and

3. reveal healing insights that change how you show up in life.

CST awareness exercises allow you to hear helpful data from your nervous system. It reveals truths about yourself that only you can access. It reinstates and nourishes your connection with self, even when you’re not sure who that is.

That’s what can happen when you use a framework that connects with your actual mind-body system versus repeating words or floating out in space. And yes, I realize I just knocked my meditation from last week….but I’m really not. These meditations are fantastic. BUT they become life changing and unleash innate healing when used in a larger strategy that corresponds with real anatomy and biology.

So are you ready to spice things up? Are you ready to release physical tension while also discovering insights about yourself for an unflappable confident clarity?

GREAT! Click here for my Craniosacral Rhythm reset to try for free this week. This is a bite size introduction to one of the three nervous system rhythms. Give it a try now and then a few more times later this week.

 In health and happiness,

Aimee

PS – Quick Tip: You’re not looking to master your Craniosacral rhythm after one week. It takes a long time to master your rhythms BUT that doesn’t mean you won’t see results. Simply be a curious observer and allow your body to self-regulate for calm, clarity and aligned flow.

My word of the year is REGULATION.

I sat in my car with a blank gaze. I must have looked like a nut, sitting there motionless with messy hair and wrinkle lines across most of my face. But you know what I’m talking about – the post massage buzz.

I just had a wonderful 90 minute treatment that squeezed away the back pain, the results of breaking up the sidewalk ice last week. Because I was having trouble forming a thought, I knew I wasn’t present enough to drive the car. So I grabbed for my planner (yes, I still use a written one) to pull myself back to earth. As I read through my very aspirational to-do list for the week, I could feel my chest get heavy and panic resettle into my jaw. I’m happy to say that my back remained loose but as I chased away the mental fog of the treatment, I also chased away the false inner peace of my massage.

You see, massage is wonderful at squeezing tight muscles into submission, which can allow you the space to catch your breath. However, your mental and emotional discomfort hasn’t changed. How you feel about life circumstances remains the same. How you view, or can’t see, your next best step hasn’t changed.

This is why my word of the year is regulation. Relaxation is nice but regulation opens the door for lasting change. While the two concepts are indeed related, they are not the same. Basically, regulation is being able to relax your mind-body (nervous) system while functioning, carrying on in life. There is co-regulation and self-regulation. Co-regulation is why people love practicing meditation in groups. It is also what your children need from you in order to learn and master their own self-regulation. And of course, self-regulation is where you need to be in order to offer co-regulation to friends, family, co-workers and everyone around you.

Here’s the thing…

You must first master relaxation to be equipped for any kind of regulation. Most meditations out there can help you build your relaxation skills, just like a good massage. In our Craniosacral self-care program, we call this level of meditation - settling. At the beginning of every class we settle before moving into revealing, healing and regulating. More on those other three another time, but if you are ready to give the first step a try - click here for this month’s free mini-reset. This three-minute guided awareness exercise features our Space Decompression Settling.

For and with you in healthy and happiness,

Aimee

PS – Next week you’ll have limited time access to one of my regulating resets. So be sure to practice this settling reset a few times this week. It will prime your nervous system to get the most out of the next one.

The worst New Year's intention you can have when it comes to self-care.

In the quiet, cold Chicago air, all I heard were the synchronized rhythms of shovels stabbing at ice. My neighbor and I looked up and laughed because we realized we were making our own musical hybrid of Stomp and Frozen. When we finally made our way to where the property lines met, we got to talking about the new year.

While we both don't do resolutions, we discussed how we do enjoy the refreshing new outlook of the new year. But then she made the terrible statement I hear from people all the time about self-care, "I'm definitely going to meditate more. I know it would be good for me."

Obviously, this intention breaks all the rules of a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound). A SMART version of this could be, "I'm going to meditate for at least 5 minutes every week to relax my body and get out of my head."

But even this SMART goal is missing key components that could prevent failure or another year of falling off track. This intention is missing the support system that will help you succeed. Here is how I would rewrite that New Year's self-care intention:

I'm going to learn a self-awareness framework that I can use to self-regulate in everyday life as well as to guide me through the life changes I'm experiencing. I'm going to sign up for an ongoing program that supports ongoing success. A program with real time support so I can easily overcome getting stuck, feel accountability without guilt, as well as evidence-based content that keeps my practice interesting and practical.

But even if meditation isn't your goal, I invite you to first consider identifying the right support system. It is really hard to consistently maintain a self-care practice by yourself when you're already exhausted.

In health and happiness,

Aimee

PS - Did you notice I used the term regulated instead of relaxed? There is a very important distinction here and I'll talk more about that next week.

Still looking for your 2021 groove?

I was originally going to write about creating your consciousness community and finding calm collaborators but after Sunday’s small group practice it seems many people still need help finding thier 2021 groove. I think self-care secret #18 will help you get there. Let’s dig in! ⤵️

While I’m not a fan of resolutions per say, it seems most people are not even setting a soft intention for their 2021. And I get it, when you’ve come off a year where goals and expectations change every 30 minutes, there’s little motivation to try again. Or maybe we can’t pick just one thing we want to be better this year? There are too many choices. BUT I suspect the real reason is something else entirely…

Are you still trying to survive? Perhaps you’re just trying to stay well until you can get the vaccine. Maybe you’re merely trying to keep up with work until the kids are out from underfoot and back into a classroom or dorm? 🙋 Or are you trying to survive isolation, because you don't have the regular dinner and movies with friends to help you cope with the more mundane parts of life?

Here's the thing - just because you are largely in survival mode, it doesn't mean that a VERY small part of you can't be flourishing. I invite you to consider how it might feel to dedicate 5 minutes a week to thriving.

I have two easy ways for you to do it and they both employ self-care secret #18: To achieve a self-care practice that effortlessly fits into your life, you must find something you love to do OR that creates results you love. And the key to finding this love is dabbling. Let me give you an example...

In massage school they said there are two kinds of practitioners: one who learns a little about lots of techniques or one that trains deeply in one specialty. For the first 10 years, I took courses in infant, pregnancy, Thai, shiatsu, Reiki, reflexology and so on. I thought I was a dabbler. That was until I experienced Craniosacral Therapy, my one true love. Then, I dabbled with different instructors until I found one that never got mystical but rather stayed focused on evidence-based principles. This deepened my connection to the work and practicing got even easier.

This made me wonder about what they said in massage school. Is it really about two different styles of practicing? Or is it really the difference between a practitioner who found their fit, their LOVE, versus one who is still dabbling? And likewise with self-care.

If you don’t have a self-care routine that you love so much you can’t help but practice 5 minutes a week - even when you're in survival mode, perhaps you haven’t dabbled enough?

Because you’ve dabbled and found the perfect fit before, right? Maybe it was for a spouse, authentic friends, a job, spirituality or simply your wardrobe style.

My point is you must keep dabbling until you’ve found your self-care love so a part of you can always be thriving, even when times are tough.

If you aren’t sure how to even start with 5 minutes of thriving, I have two suggestions for you:

1. Let researching self-care be your 5 minutes of thriving. Google what interests you or better yet asking around. What do other’s love so much that it’s easy to do no matter what? Post it on social media to source the crowd. Or text someone you feel particularly aligned with and find out what works for them.

   BECAUSE other people have found it for themselves!

   In class this week, I had one student say doing small group sessions felt like they were coming back home. Another student is practicing so regularly that for the 3rd class in a row she just didn’t have a struggle that needed addressing.

2. If you just need to start doing something now, I’ve got you covered with this month’s 5 minute Biodynamic reset. You can get it by joining the mailing list here or finding it in the Feel Better On Every Level Facebook group (along with a bunch of other resources). If you’re already on the mailing list, check your inbox because I provide the current reset in every weekly email.

Don't write yourself off as a self-care failure. Please know that you just might not have dabbled enough yet. Happy dabbling!

Aimee

The Biggest Lesson I Learned In 2020

Fear of the unknown, untreatable illness, constant change and the loneliness of isolation are just a few of the obstacles we faced this year. You may have also had some pre-existing struggles or issues you’ve been sidestepping, which quickly became unavoidable in the light of a quarantine pandemic. (I sure did!)

From all 2020’s issues - I mean, opportunities for growth - the biggest lesson I learned this year was that mindful self-care is not optional for sensitive, empathic or instinctive people.

Yes, it was a stressful year for everyone in so many different ways. However, for those of us whose nervous systems deeply process and are constantly attuned to other people’s feelings, this year was exhausting. 2020 was the year where having a restorative mindfulness practice paid dividends. And to my fellow pragmatists, I’m not talking about practicing mystics or woo-woo. I’m talking about processing stimuli, clearing your mirror neurons and resetting your senses so you can stay grounded and present.

This year, I saw how mindful self-care is necessary to stay focused and move forward despite circumstances beyond your control. It is not just a new-age indulgence.

I know that I wouldn’t have been able to gracefully close up the studio that I had worked so hard in plus process everything else about 2020 without having a well built mindfulness toolbox. 

But let me back-up and quickly recap how I got here. I started practicing mindfulness in 2010. First it was to improve my confidence and professionalism and then to implement better boundaries in my relationships. Next it was to quit smoking and then to catch my breath and feel like myself again after unexpected traumas and devastating losses. 

I spent the last decade getting really good at surrendering to "what is". I’ve (mostly) wrangled my intense stubbornness and become a master of calming my disappointment and sadness so that I could move forward. And yes, 10 years of inner-work sounds daunting but here’s the thing: I felt the benefits of calm consciousness the entire time, not just in the later years. In fact, there were only 2 differences between mindfulness at year 10 versus year 1 and they have nothing to do with getting results and feeling a deep relief. At year 10, I can now:

1)      practice mindful self-care easily and consistently on my own, with minimal support from my teachers and mentors

AND

2)      be more proactive to prevent, avoid or minimize stress and struggles instead of just regrouping and self-regulating after an issue arises.

Does any of this sound like something you may need in 2021? Would you really love more inner balance but can’t be still? Or have you practiced meditation for a while, but aren't certain you're making progress? 

If so, I invite you to join us for the Observatory in January and start at the beginning. We'll be learning and practicing basic skills to recover from the arduous holidays while also identifying your personal anchors to stay focused all year.  While you can jump into classes at any time (for now), January is the best time to try it out. Each month builds on the previous making it easier for you to keep pace and see measurable results with skill development.

If you’re ready to:

- stop losing your temper when you know better

- stop wondering if you’re doing mindfulness correctly or if you’re making progress

- stop struggling to figure out self-care and how to keep at it

- build a toolbox that helps you to go with the flow even in circumstances beyond your control

- better understand your nervous system and new ways to manage what triggers it

- enjoy a  connection with a like- minded community with anonymity to suit your comfort level

click here to join the next class.

And if you’re ready to start off with a small commitment to take better care of yourself in 2021, check out The Observatory Membership or The Observatory For Beginners Membership (coming soon). In these monthly programs, you’ll get bonus mini-sessions, learning tools and class discounts of up to 50% off in addition to the classes.

So if 2020 has showed you one thing, my guess is that you’ve seen how stress management really and truly comes down to you. And while you alone are responsible for your own inner balance, you don’t have to do it alone.

Until next time, stay kind to yourself and remember relief is within.

Aimee